Thinking back on my New Year’s Eve festivities, I remember being with a small gathering of friends, watching the countdown expecting to be overcome with infinite joy and excitement in anticipation of a new year. There I was, holding my glass, the numbers steadily rolling backwards…10-9-8-7, waiting for that big moment, 6-5-4-3, … and then, finally 2-1… when 2019 rang in. But instead of shouting the obligatory “HAPPY NEW YEAR!” I froze cold –suffering a brief moment of paralyzing panic. Like shortness of breath, light flashing before my eyes, sweaty underboob kinda panic.
No one saw this of course. It was 100% internal and self-imposed. But I still hid my moment of anxiety behind a feigned smile and a glass of frothy bubbles held up in front of my face as I toasted the moment. My fellow partygoers (a small group of 5), continued popping confetti, oblivious to my “moment.” And lucky me, since I opted out of wearing a silk blouse for the occasion, they were none the wiser on the sweaty underboob thing too. Then there were hugs, sentiments of positivity, until all of our old asses found an excuse to make a mad dash home. I was no exception. I got home in 10 minutes flat. I immediately kicked off my shoes, “un-Spanxed” myself, hugged my dog and wished him a Happy New Year. Then I peeled back the covers and got in bed.
And as I laid there in the darkness of 2019 with 2018 already behind me, I searched the ceiling of my bedroom looking for answers. What was it that actually caused that midnight moment of panic? Well, here’s what I determined.
Every New Year makes you scared AF. Scared that your best-laid plans will go unfinished. Scared to face a year of missed opportunities, promises broken and resolutions forgotten. Scared you will lose your job or scared to stay in an unfulfilling one. Scared to remain happily uncoupled or scared to stay trapped in a toxic relationship. The list could go on and on, but ultimately you are BATSHIT SCARED you will inadvertently fail.
But on the flip side, or as I will say, the “MAG-side” of things, a New Year also means new beginnings with new chances to take the world by storm. A New Year means you can choose to be a new you, with new ways of seeing challenges and overcoming them. Search Pinterest for all the affirmation pins you need. But here is the deal: we have to literally Boss-up-bitches (and I say “bitches” with all the Cardi B-esque-truth-serum affection and enthusiasm as I can) and double down. Make it a year of “Yes, and.” In other words, make 2019 more MAG than ever.
365 days sounds longer that it is. We take for granted that we are actually guaranteed all of those days. Guess what? We are not. Morbid thought that it is, it’s true. You don’t know how many days are promised to you. Which means, every morning that you wake up, look at the ceiling in your bedroom as another day for you to set an intention and deliver on it. MAG women embrace the newness and gift of daybreak because it is a signal that there is work to do. There are Bastilles to storm, oyster knives to sharpen, bigger fish to fry, and dreams to no longer defer. If you love something, share it. If you hate something, change it. If you are scared of something, face it. If you are hungry for something, feed it.
So as I write this, I am also committing to re-upping my game. The “Glow Up” is soooo 2018, being on the serious “MAG Up” is all the way 2019. And how I plan to do this by being bolder. Being unapologetic. Being ego–free. Being unafraid to ASK. Being receptive. Being purposeful. Being more ME than I have ever been. And let’s face it, combating the gray hair that is finding its home in various places on my body is a daily reminder that the time is literally now, or never. Trust, a good Brazillian wax will beat back the emotional realities of father time. But I digressed.
Embracing your MAGNESS can start at anytime in your life’s journey. Don’t wait another day or year for the world to tell you who you should be. Define it for yourself. Like, right now. I say fu*k a vision board. That requires you use others images to define your image of what you want of your life. No, your VISION BOARD is 3-D and Technicolor. It is the world you walk through everyday, but you have to open your eyes and really SEE it. Not scribbled in a notebook, or pictures saved in social media. Live your life’s vision in real time, and receive all that comes with it. I challenge you to join me in this because come 11:59pm of 2019, as I hold another glass of frothy champagne in front of my face, I don’t want to experience that same wave of panic or underboob sweat, rolling into 2020.
Failing to do this, to embrace the MAG in you that I know and you know is already there, is only proof that you are content with failing yourself. You know the proverbial saying “put your big girl panties on?” Well this is the year you need to put your “MAG PANTIES on”. The bigger they are – full of big dreams and big goals – the better. And there is nothing sexier, and more grown ass woman-fied to bring in a New Year than that.